| Artwork By: Tony D Agustino |
Damn Illegal Aliens
No. No. No. This is not fair to illegal
aliens, let’s be all-inclusive and
declare, “Damn all aliens, legal and
illegal alike.”
This equal opportunity curse covers
all aliens regardless of their race,
gender, religion or national origins. A
curse is very much like a health
insurance, is better when it’s
comprehensive, therefore, let’s
expand the coverage say, “Damn all
aliens including -and not limited to-
immigrants and foreigners up to
three generations.”
No. No. No. This is not fair to illegal
aliens, let’s be all-inclusive and
declare, “Damn all aliens, legal and
illegal alike.”
This equal opportunity curse covers
all aliens regardless of their race,
gender, religion or national origins. A
curse is very much like a health
insurance, is better when it’s
comprehensive, therefore, let’s
expand the coverage say, “Damn all
aliens including -and not limited to-
immigrants and foreigners up to
three generations.”
Most Stupid Race of All
...According to the recommendations
presented in this document, they have
penetrated into our civilized societies. They
have insiders among us disguised as human
beings and operating as high rank
politicians and world leaders who have
legal and moral authorities over us to
expedite the annihilation of the human race.
...According to the recommendations
presented in this document, they have
penetrated into our civilized societies. They
have insiders among us disguised as human
beings and operating as high rank
politicians and world leaders who have
legal and moral authorities over us to
expedite the annihilation of the human race.
Artwork by: Navid Sharifi
A Game of Backgammon
Or Clash of Cultures
A few nights ago, I was in the mood for playing a
relaxing game of backgammon on the Internet, the
game I learned from masters in my childhood. There
are two advantages in playing backgammon on the
Internet. Cheating is impossible and listening to your
opponent’s Korkory (trash talk) is optional.
As soon as I opened a table I heard a beep. A player
came online and the game started. Right from the
beginning my opponent raised the stakes and
challenged me to do so. I doubled only when I was
ahead. What you are about to read is based on actual
comments communicated between us. >>>>
Or Clash of Cultures
A few nights ago, I was in the mood for playing a
relaxing game of backgammon on the Internet, the
game I learned from masters in my childhood. There
are two advantages in playing backgammon on the
Internet. Cheating is impossible and listening to your
opponent’s Korkory (trash talk) is optional.
As soon as I opened a table I heard a beep. A player
came online and the game started. Right from the
beginning my opponent raised the stakes and
challenged me to do so. I doubled only when I was
ahead. What you are about to read is based on actual
comments communicated between us. >>>>
A Few Recommendations to Stop Airborne Terrorism
Idea 1
Profile all Muslims and people of Middle Eastern
Background
Since these people are prime suspects anyway,
profiling against them not only makes sense but
saves travelers and tax payers billions of dollars every
year.
At airports across the country all passengers must
form a line with their tickets and valid IDs in hand.
Then a professional profiler from TSA walks by,
examines their travel documents and taps on the
shoulders of suspects. The profiled passengers step
forward to go through rigorous interrogation and
screening while others give them standing ovation for
their unacceptable looks and for providing everyone
else a hassle free travel experience. More
Idea 1
Profile all Muslims and people of Middle Eastern
Background
Since these people are prime suspects anyway,
profiling against them not only makes sense but
saves travelers and tax payers billions of dollars every
year.
At airports across the country all passengers must
form a line with their tickets and valid IDs in hand.
Then a professional profiler from TSA walks by,
examines their travel documents and taps on the
shoulders of suspects. The profiled passengers step
forward to go through rigorous interrogation and
screening while others give them standing ovation for
their unacceptable looks and for providing everyone
else a hassle free travel experience. More
Watch your ass
A few recommendations to my fellow
Iranians
In the post 9/11 era and in the wake of
recent intensification of conflict between
Iran and the United States, we Iranians
along with Arabs of course are considered
prime terrorist suspects due to our national
origins. We are constantly being watched by
our neighbors and our daily activities are
scrutinized by the people around us. These
symptoms are the side effects of the Patriot
Act. We are natural subjects of racial
profiling and we receive unfair treatments
anywhere we are remotely deemed to be a
threat to the national security. We simply do
not have equal rights as others in this
country. We are guiltless citizens on the run
waiting to get caught to prove our innocence!
More
Bicycle Thief
Reading newspapers is one of my
hobbies. I usually go to the local
library, grab a stack of papers from
different cities and read the news. I
like to read about people and
especially interested in local crime
reports. My favorite pastime has a
fringe benefit too. It gives me a good
excuse to sit by the large window for a
long time and watch a variety of
bicycles in the library bike rack and
plan my next scheme. More
Reading newspapers is one of my
hobbies. I usually go to the local
library, grab a stack of papers from
different cities and read the news. I
like to read about people and
especially interested in local crime
reports. My favorite pastime has a
fringe benefit too. It gives me a good
excuse to sit by the large window for a
long time and watch a variety of
bicycles in the library bike rack and
plan my next scheme. More